Friday, June 28, 2013

Dolphin Assisted Water Birth (this is a thing now...)

Another miracle of maternity is the sudden influx of pregnancy, baby and parenting related emails I get. I recall subscribing to one weekly email from The Bump. But somehow I ended up with getting about 10 daily from various organizations including numerous baby clothing retailers. Maybe I signed up for some coupons at the check-out at the Carter's outlet? I've since unsubscribed from a bunch but still get a few winning articles sent my way.

A month ago, The Bump sent me an email with a link to an article titled "Say What? Parents to Be Planning a Dolphin Assisted Water Birth in Hawaii"  A Dolphin Assisted Water Birth. 

Now, let's play the "What Does Kelsey Imagine?" game! Upon reading this, I pictured a dolphin and lady in some kind of indoor/outdoor aquarium tank. The dolphin is strapped to some kind of harness and the other end of the harness is attached to the baby still inside the mother. Dolphin swims. Baby comes out. And there you have a dolphin assisted water birth.

I drew a picture:
Figure 1

As you may have surmised, what I imagined is not the real deal. It has something to do with the soothing and relaxing high pitch shrill of a dolphin that helps keep the mother calm and welcomes the baby into a peaceful tranquil environment.

However, this also seems pretty bogus since I'm pretty sure you can easily buy dolphin sounds on a CD. I'd like to let this couple know that they can save themselves a lot of money by not flying to Hawaii and renting out a personal fish tank AND dolphin for their birth. For a mere $12.49 they can pick up "Dolphin Music for the Inner Child" at their local Target in the World Music Kiosk located between the cards and scented candles (or online). Then they can put all that extra money towards their child's college education or maybe buying a pet dolphin of their own for the next child birth (in case the CD just isn't relaxing enough)

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